Life is going on and we have already made the decision to call the shelter to bring home a kitty who needs a home. When I'm ready. Perhaps next week. I'm praying for the same thing to happen with another cat that did with Victoria, I took one look at that face and she had my heart. Love at first sight.
Loss is hard whether it is a pet or a parent or a friend or a spouse or anyone we love. The affects of the loss are not the same for each but the feelings of grief are there. I still look for her every morning when I get up, still in a sleepy fog (before my first cup of coffee), and I... forget.
I've made a few temporary changes that help me get through the day. The lights are left on in various rooms to hold back the darkness a bit. I'm the one that usually goes around turning off lights to conserve energy. I've been going out each day the weather is good for coffee. Which is not in my budget but McDonald's senior coffee is still inexpensive.
Christopher called and offered to take me to lunch yesterday at a Vietnamese restaurant for Pho. Which I had never had before but was absolutely delicious. He told me about his trip to the conference in San Francisco and being able to stay a couple extra days to see his best friend. The flight out made his pneumonia worse but with advice from the ladies in his life (his wife, sister, and mother)... he had room service bring lots of tea with honey and lemon. Lunch out was a blessing.
Mrs. Christopher stayed with her parents during the time he was in California so Hubby and I fed Mr. Sebastian and gave him a lot of kitty pets. Victoria passed the last night we took care of Sebastian kitty but she hadn't seemed to mind his scent. She knew it was his... and he is family.
So I'm playing Christmas music and watching Christmas movies and creating cards and doing what I need to do for the Christmas season. Just doing all with the pall of sadness and grief and more than a few tears dropping in the sudsy dish water each evening.
Thank you for your well wishes and your prayers. They are very much appreciated. I have walked through loss before and I know life goes on. It is just hard at first, particularly in a season one is expected to be full of joy. I think everyone will understand when I'm just a little Scrooge-ish this year.
Photo: One of my favorite Christmas decorations. This photo was first shown on @coffeeteabooksandme on Instagram. I purchased the cabin long ago for a fraction of the original price because the flag had broken off the snowman and the porch swing had broken off its' chain. But a little glue on both made them look just fine.
Sad but here...
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Oleh
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